


Faking, Dating

by zicrotch



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:33:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5565922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zicrotch/pseuds/zicrotch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does a confused Green Lantern do, when his job doesn't involve rings and uniforms, and he's terribly in love with a certain Scarlet Speedster?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faking, Dating

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a mixture of the comics and CW's 'The Flash' TV Series. The story is not the most original one, but I tried to make it funny, at least a little. Hope you'll like it. c:

"You want me to do _what?"_

Hal keeps on staring at his friend. Barry might be embarrassed, but on the outside he looks quite determined. This has to be done, he's got no other choice.

"Hal, please! For just one evening!" He looks at the lantern with pleading eyes.

Oh, those beautiful, sky blue eyes; they will be the death of Hal one day. Barry doesn't know about this weakness, yet he uses this secret weapon against Hal perfectly, always at the right time. It's almost ridiculous.

What is even more ridiculous? That it works. Every single time. Without any exception. Barry wants, his eyes sparkle, and Hal gives in. That's how it's done.

"...Fine." Hal sighs heavily.

His friend jumps and hugs him tight, with pure happiness and relief. "Thank you, Hal! I owe you one!"

"You sure do." Hal smiles, defeated.

Just what has he gotten himself into?

Is he really going to do this? Is he really going to pretend he's dating his best friend, Barry Allen? The one he's secretly been in love with for years? That will be a tough one, even for the amazing Green Lantern, the overly confident Hal Jordan.

He needs to calm down.

It's fine, he can play it cool. He can do this. If only Barry wouldn't have those angelic eyes, or that dazzling smile, or a perfectly round butt... The mere thought of having Barry as his boyfriend turns him excited.

He knows he can't get distracted. He knows, but that will be harder than it sounds. He's got enough problems in connection with this issue already. The amount of times he has to ignore his feelings and attraction towards Barry during Justice League meetings literally sucks all of his energy away. Now imagine him _on a date_ with that very specific crush, without his ring, without a mask that covers his face. Without any disguise or shelter.

He can only hope for the best.

"I'll pick you up at 7 this Saturday." Barry states, winking at his friend.

Yes, because that playful look will definitely help Hal calm down. He ignores, fighting the urge to throw himself at the speedster.

"Alright. Do I dress casually or..." He wonders, because he knows nothing about Barry's exact plans. What is it? Where is it? Even if it's just pretend-dating, he wants to do it well. For Barry.

"Just pick something nice. It's an ordinary restaurant." He replies. "Anyway, see you later, gotta run."

Before Hal could say a word, or at least process the information, Barry's already gone. How typical of The Flash. His powers can be really irritating, Hal notes.

'A restaurant.'

He walks into his bedroom and falls onto his bed, like a lifeless piece of meat. A really desperate one.

Something bad is going to happen, he can feel it. A fancy dinner with Barry's ex girlfriend, and her new partner. Call it a double date thing. Hal doesn't want to go; hell, he'd rather die. He knows how much Barry and Iris loved each other. What if they still do, and they just want to make the other one jealous? Sounds like a plan. That's the case, probably. He doesn't want to be a part of something like that, especially because he's interested in Barry for real. However, he can't be so selfish. He needs to admit that this thing between them is only platonic. Maybe Iris could make Barry happy.

But what if...

What if they really don't plan on getting back together? What if Barry is just ashamed that he's still single while Iris has been dating someone new? What if it's just an innocent night out?

In any case, Barry wouldn't ask such a thing if it wasn't an emergency. Maybe he's stuck in a lie that started out little and now he can't ask anyone else. Hal is his best friend, of course he wouldn't let Barry down.

Yet, he's way too anxious. He's not the type to go to restaurants. He knows tons of inappropriate pick-up lines, he goes to night clubs occasionally and somehow he always manages to get someone's attention with his flirting skills. While one could say he's successful, Hal has no freaking idea how romance is supposed to work. He's seen some low budget romance movies, and he's got this scary conclusion that restaurant dates are usually romantic. Well, they should be, more or less. That's the problem.

Let's be honest, he belongs to a pub rather than a restaurant.

And that's not even his greatest concern. The thing is, he doesn't even have to _pretend_ he's attracted to Barry, which could make his work easier, but one bad move, or some too honest over-acting and it might be suspicious. He'll just say he's an exceptionally good actor, or something. Thank God he's got a flashy personality. Perhaps he could use it as an excuse.

Even so, he still doesn't know what to wear on that certain evening. Usually he doesn't care about such minor details, but now there's a chance to show Barry that he is an incredibly good catch.

Hal makes his way through his messy bedroom. Unwashed clothes lying here and there, empty junk food packs, beer bottles and other types of rubbish. Dust covers most of his furniture in the whole apartment, including the very expensive and huge LED television on the wall. Hal doesn't really clean unless it's really necessary or someone comes over. He only bought the newest television to show off, not to watch it, anyway. He's too busy saving the galaxy. That's what he tells himself.

He groans as he opens the wardrobe. Everything's too simple and ordinary. Most of the time he just picks jeans with a black, gray or white t-shirt, then puts on his brown bomber jacket with his name on it and he's ready to go. His life consist of switching between that outfit and the Green Lantern Corps uniform. He's not sure he owns any formal clothing.

He starts searching for his phone. He's got an idea, one last hope. As he finds it he goes through his contacts.

"Hey, John. I need a favor."

 

 

\--

 

 

Saturday has come earlier than expected.

Hal's standing in front of the door with John's coat in his hands. Barry's just called that he's waiting outside, and Hal needs a final quiet moment to calm his nerves. He inhales deeply, and leaves the building.

Stepping outside, he looks around, searching for the car. Soon enough, he spots Barry standing next to the taxi. It's cold and the wind is surprisingly strong for a Spring evening so he decides to put on the dark brown, knee-length coat and walks closer to Barry.

"Hi." He says quite shyly.

Barry smiles. "Nervous?"

Hal just rolls his eyes. Of course he's nervous. "Shut up. Let's go."

After getting in the car, Barry can't help but notice the coat, which doesn't look bad at all, but truth be told, it's not something Hal would ever consider buying.

"Whose coat is this?" Barry questions with suspicion.

Hal suddenly starts sweating. "Mine, obviously."

The speedster laughs. "I'm not buying it."

"Can't we just get going?" Comes the defensive reply.

Barry nods. Hal's the one helping him out, he shouldn't pick on him right now. He's grateful, and he wants this date to turn out well. Pissing off the lantern wouldn't be smart, because once Hal gets angry or irritated, he acts like a sulky kid. Barry doesn't mind, he's used to it and he knows how to handle these situations, but when it comes to others... Well, they don't find it charming.

Still, there's something about that coat that doesn't feel right.

The engine starts and Barry tries to ignore his thoughts of the strange coat. He turns to face Hal, who's been gazing out the window. He wants to encourage him. He wants to say something like ' _It will be fine.'_ or ' _Don't sweat it.'_ or _'Doesn't matter how this turns out, just be yourself.'_

Barry looks away; he has changed his mind. He's not going to say it. Anything. He'll just make Hal even more nervous. That's what he wants to think, but the truth is, he's scared of making _himself_ even more nervous.

Iris has been asking questions about the guy Barry always tells stories about. The guy who acts childish and egocentric but is actually kind and caring. The guy who's so good-looking it should be illegal. The guy who always helps him out in the time of need. Barry's never told Iris about Green Lantern. It's Hal Jordan he mentions every time. He turns the world-saving quests into everyday situations, and they actually work. Iris loves them.

For some reason - Barry has absolutely no idea why - Iris has started saying that the two of them must have something going on. Barry has tried to deny, but it's just made Iris believe in it even more. Once Barry has grown so tired of these conversations, he yelled _'Fine! We're going out! Happy now?!'_

And now, here they are.

When they arrive, Barry pays the driver and they get out of the car. Hal sees a European style building with warm colors and modest lightning. There are flowers in the windows, and a handwritten text with giant letters just above the front door saying ' _Bel Piatoo'._

 _"_ Ordinary restaurant, huh?" Hal looks at Barry with threatening eyes.

"It _is_ one. Central City's most popular Italian restaurant among people with an ordinary salary." Barry states, trying to sound convincing.

As a matter of fact, Hal doesn't go to restaurants. He's going to sign that. But this? An ordinary restaurant? He really needs to go out more and have a decent dinner once in a while.

As they enter the building, Hal looks around. The place isn't as spacious as he thought it would be, and the paintings on the walls make it look even smaller, but that's why it feels so cozy. There are nicely-dressed people everywhere, walking around, or just chatting at their tables. There's some Italian song playing, but it's not too loud or disturbing, it's just perfect. For his own surprise, Hal likes it.

Barry takes off his own coat and hangs it on the hat stand placed near the door. Hal does the same, revealing his whole outfit. He wears a black shirt with rolled up sleeves to his elbows, black trousers, a silver watch on his wrist and a bright emerald green tie, matching his ring.

Barry looks at the man, kind of amazed, kind of doubtful. He looks great. Too great.

"Okay, whose clothes are these?"

Hal sighs. "John's. We have the same size and he's got a good fashion sense so I thought... Wait, do I look ridiculous?"

Barry smiles. "You look wonderful, Hal. Don't worry."

Hal exhales with relief, but in the same time, his heart starts pounding faster. When Barry steps closer to fix his collar, it doesn't help either.

"I like the tie." The speedster adds jokingly.

Hal's scared Barry's going to hear his racing heartbeat, but looks like he's earned God's pity, since he hears a woman's voice calling for Barry. Barry moves away quickly, and both of them look towards the direction of the sound.

There's a young woman waving at them with a wide smile on her face, a tall man sitting on her right. They walk to the table and the woman stands up to greet both of them. She hugs Barry tight, and it's really hard for Hal not to get irritated by that act.

"Hal Jordan, right? I am _so_ glad you came! Nice to meet you, I'm Iris!" She walks closer to Hal, giggling.

It's obvious that Iris is one of the prettiest girls Hal's ever seen, even though he's certainly had a close look at a lot of women before. Her big, dark eyes are sparkling, her black hair falls on her bare shoulders in stylish curls. She's wearing a rusty red colored, short cocktail dress with black heels.

How is he going to compete against _this_?

Hal decides to put on his charming smile. "Nice to meet you too, Iris. Thanks for the invitation, wouldn't miss it."

"Barry, you said he was a looker, now I get it." She pokes him.

Hal glances at Barry, who's too embarrassed to reply. He just smiles, avoiding eye contact.

After getting a few compliments from Hal in response to the one she's given, Iris pulls the tall man closer by his arm, now standing next to her. He's handsome and he looks mature. "Guys, this is Eddie."

Barry already knows the man, but he introduces himself formally, shaking hands. "Barry Allen. Oh, and he's my.." Barry looks at Hal, troubled, but he gets an encouraging nod from the lantern. "...My boyfriend, Hal Jordan."

"Hey, mate!" Hall greets Eddie with a happy expression, placing a hand on Barry's shoulder. He's trying to sound self-collected. He's not.

The group of four sit down. A waiter approaches them, handing out sheets of the menu and he also recommends an exceptionally tasty Italian white wine for a starter. They accept it and after ordering the dishes, the waiter disappears.

"So," Iris speaks out firstly. "Hal, I've heard a lot about you, but Barry never mentioned how the two of you met."

A lot? Exactly what does Iris know about him? He starts praying, because if Iris knows who he _really_ is, then he has to kill Barry later, and he doesn't want to murder such a beautiful meta-human. He just hopes that's not the case, so he clears his throat and comes up with a random story.

"Well, Barry is a forensic scientist..." He looks at the speedster, who gives him a _you-don't-say_ look.

Hal decides to ignore Barry and focus on the others. "Yeah, and, as you may already know, I'm a test pilot. This one time I was flying above Central City with my colleague and our aircraft crashed and he died." He says plainly and Barry buries his face in his palm.

"Then the police shows up - with Barry - and they say it's a homicide and I'm lucky to live. Some punk did this... thing to the engine or something. Anyway, that's how we met." He finishes and sits back in his chair, satisfied with himself.

Iris and Eddie look at each other, speechless.

"That was ages ago. We don't really tell this story often, because of... reasons." Barry adds.

"Yeah, I get that." Eddie says and he gets an angry look from Iris instantly.

She turns to Barry now. "And, you've been together for...?"

"Just a few weeks." The man replies after drinking some wine from his glass.

"And-"

"Iris, dear, stop questioning them like that. It's not an interrogation." Eddie tells her as he sees the fear on Hal's and Barry's faces.

They are both terrified that Iris asks something tricky, or they get messed up between lies. Iris is a smart woman, they can get busted easily.

"Right, I'm sorry." She apologizes with a small laugh that somehow sounds forced. "The night is young, anyway."

Hal loosens the tie around his neck. Great. This is just the beginning, but so far it's going according to plan. He knows how to do this. Stay calm, listen to the conversation carefully, read Barry's face and gestures, try to sound composed and it will go smoothly.

Except, he's just noticed how good Barry looks tonight. The way he smiles, the way he looks at Hal with those grateful, gorgeous blue eyes, the way his so-kissable lips touch the glass when he drinks; it's beautifully agonizing. He needs the power of every ring in the entire universe to stay restful.

_It's just an act._

He keeps thinking.

"It's just..." Iris plays with her hair nervously. "I'm so glad. You seem like a good person, Hal. Every time Barry talks about you, he's cheerful and delighted. You make him truly happy."

Hal isn't remotely surprised. He's Barry's best friend, of course they have a few funny stories. Adventures, even, due to the fact that they are who they secretly are. On the other hand, he doesn't want his friend to feel uncomfortable, so he decides to take part in the conversation by asking back.

"That's sweet, but you got me curious. What does he say about me?" He gives a sly smirk to Barry before glancing back at Iris. "I bet it's all nasty and biting."

"No." Barry replies before Iris could. His arms are folded in front of his chest and he looks rather offended.

Iris laughs. "Have more trust in Barry. He's only telling nice things. Honest."

"Aww, Bear." Hal says jokingly as he looks at Barry, his voice sarcastic, trying to hide the fact that he's actually touched.

Barry just sighs, loosening up. "Don't get so full of yourself."

Iris can't help but giggle. She grabs Eddie's arm as she turns to her lover. She makes sure to keep her voice down, so that Barry and Hal sitting at the opposite end of the table won't hear her. "He calls him Bear! They are trying to seem professional, but they are so adorable, aren't they?"

Eddie nods in agreement. It's nice to see his girlfriend pleased and happy. Moreover, those two are really entertaining.

The waiter soon arrives with their delicious-looking dishes. The conversations carries on, but slower than before, since all of them enjoy their meals. Hal can't believe he's been spending his life without Italian food, he loves everything about it. He keeps studying the ingredients, asking obvious questions from the others, which make the group laugh occasionally. Iris and Eddie feed one another once or twice, tasting each other's dishes with curiosity. It's disturbing, because Hal can't chase the though of feeding Barry away. Somehow, he manages to keep his pretended boyfriend out of sight.

Every time Iris tries to ask about their relationship, Barry changes the subject, so they mostly talk about Eddie. The perfect boyfriend. He's tall, he has blond hair, he's talkative and funny, he's the star cop _and_ he's a gentleman. Hal feels a bit annoyed. In fact, he's afraid that Barry might feel that he's less than Eddie. That's plainly stupid, because - in his opinion - Barry's height is just fine, there's no need to be as tall as a damn lamp post. Besides, Barry's blond hair looks ten times better than Eddie's, and a forensic scientist is much cooler than a simple cop. Moreover, it proves how smart Barry is. And, yeah, Barry's not the center of attention, but he's friendly, and kind, and he can talk a lot once he's comfortable around someone. Awfully lot, actually. This doughnut-eater skyscraper won't ever be better than _his_ Barry. In his eyes, that is.

He looks over at his friend, who doesn't seem half as concerned about this issue as he is, given the sight of an empty plate in front of him.

Of course, the speedster is the first to finish his meal. Owing to the fight with Captain Cold and Heatwave a few hours ago, he's still pretty hungry. He could eat about three more meals in a blink of an eye. He's not worried, though; he's got the number of several fast food deliveries at home, on his fridge. He just needs this date to come to an end, quickly.

He's about to suggest one last round of drinks, when Iris suddenly places her hand on top of Barry's on the table. Her saddened eyes are fixed on him, and Barry knows there's something important she wants to say. Eddie just stares in confusion, and Hal feels sorry for him. Poor Eddie may not know that Iris and Barry have a history and they are just about to get back together.

"Barry, I know what this is all about." She speaks softly.

"You- You do?" Barry stutters in fear.

The lantern turns his head away, because if they are going to make out, he doesn't really want to see it.

Iris takes hold of Barry's hand. "You've been holding back the whole evening, because you are afraid that Eddie and I wouldn't accept this relationship."

Barry pulls his eyebrows together in confusion. "What?"

"It's okay, Barry. We don't mind that you are dating a guy, honestly. You can be yourselves. Just let him kiss you, he's been dying to do so, I can tell."

Barry stares at her blankly, unable to think of any good reply.

Hal comes to his help. "Iris, it's not-"

"Just do it, mate. It's okay." Eddie cuts in.

Barry and Hal look at each other, probably waiting for a miracle. Barry knows it's cruel and not really hero-like to pray for a sudden intergalactic alien attack nearby so they can both escape the situation, but that's his only hope.

Moments turn to long seconds, and they still don't know what to do, until Hal decides to stop thinking about it. He's going to hell for this, but he takes advantage of the situation and pulls Barry closer by his chin. Strangely, the speedster doesn't look disgusted or frightened, he's not even protesting. They both close their eyes moments before their lips finally touch.

Their first kiss is not adventurous or passionate. It's just a little innocent taste of each other. However, it feels so glorious, so meaningful, too good to be real. It's like a piece of Heaven. Or even better.

But it's over too soon, and reality slaps Hal right in the face. He's a terrible, _terrible_ person. He doesn't deserve to be a Green Lantern, to be a hero, to be Barry's best friend. He's a traitor.

As they slowly back away from each other, Iris gives them a satisfied look. "Now, that's better. See, Eddie? Told you that was the problem."

The man smiles at his girlfriend. "You were right. As always."

"Barry..." Hal speaks with a barely audible voice and looks at his flustered friend.

_'I'm sorry.'_

If only he was able to say it.

"It's getting late, isn't it?" Barry says. "I need to get up early tomorrow, I suppose it's the same with Eddie?"

"That's right." The man agrees.

"Well, looks like the end of the date, then. Thanks for the invitation." Hal says, trying to collect all the energy he's left and show a flawless smile. "It was nice meeting you."

He shakes Eddie's hand and Iris hugs him with more force than needed, as if she was saying _'You seem like a nice person, but hurt Barry and I'll kill you.'_

Too bad he's already done that.

"I'll call you a taxi." Barry states and walks him out.

It's still cold outside and the wind hasn't stopped raging, but Hal refuses to put on his coat. Stupid coat, stupid date, stupid Italians and their delicious food he's never eating again because it would remind him of this horrible day _._

The taxi arrives and Hal's ready to get in, but Barry blocks his way. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well, I fucked up."

"You didn't. "

Of course he would say that. He's The Flash. The always understanding Barry Allen. Even when he's betrayed, he's thankful. How is that?

Hal walks past him. "Just tell them I 'broke up' with you. Iris will probably murder me, though."

"I don't want to."

"It's not _that_ easy to kill me."

"That's not.. Look, what if... We don't break up?" Barry asks.

Hal tries to find the trick behind the sentence, but he can't see through anything anymore.

He turns back. "What do you mean?"

"You really _are_ stupid."

Hal throws the coat over his shoulder and crosses his arms. "Why, thank you."

"Hal, I like you. And it looks like... I think you like me too."

Hal's suddenly frozen. Perhaps it's the cold, or maybe it's what he's heard. Probably the latter. Barry's cheeks turn red as he's waiting for a reaction.

"...For real?"

Barry feels his blood boiling with anger. "Do you think I would... I can't even-- Hal, I swear to God, you are--"

"I'm an idiot, indeed." He walks closer to Barry, wrapping his arms around the speedster's waist, pulling him closer. "For thinking anyone else would be better for you."

Barry rolls his eyes, because that's _so_ Hal Jordan, but he has to agree. "You are."

He puts a hand on Hal's face as his own gets closer. They kiss again, this time they are both brave and confident. It's long, hot, and feels great. When they are out of oxygen, they move away a bit to get some fresh air. They stare at each other; Hal can't get enough of the sight of Barry so close to himself.

Then Barry's eyes lower a bit and he covers his mouth, but his laughter manages to escape.

Hal's confused. "What's so funny?"

"You eat like an animal, Hal. Look at your tie."

Barry points at a very visible dark red stain on the now ruined emerald green tie. Hal's face turns pale and he grabs the tie in sheer terror.

"No. No, no, no, no, _no._ John's gonna kill me for this."

Barry laughs. "I thought it wasn't _that_ easy to kill you."

"Very funny, Allen. You won't be laughing when I'm actually dead."

The speedster looks at him with pity. "You are hopeless. Give it to me, I'll clean it at S.T.A.R. Labs."

"You're a hero, Barry." He kisses him on the cheek, which now seems so natural and easy.

Barry takes the tie off and buries his face in Hal's neck, hugging him gently. "Tell me about it."

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't have beta readers, please forgive me.


End file.
